


Your truest form

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 03:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12050757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sometimes to see someone in their truest light you have to look through different eyes





	Your truest form

Magnus stood in the centre of the Institute, his glamour holding up well, no one had any clue that the rather unremarkable looking Warlock in their presence was in fact The High Warlock of Brooklyn. All he had to do was slip past them, get the spell book he had left in Alec’s office and leave….it was as simple as that, but Magnus should have known that nothing was simple in the Shadow world.

As he approached Alec’s office he heard voices, Alec naturally, given the location and Isabelle. It became apparent very quickly that this was not a conversation that should be overheard, least of all by him. All the same, he found himself fixed to the floor outside the door, unseeing but able to hear every word.

  “Alec, I’m so sorry …..I can’t believe he chose the Downworld over you, I thought what you had meant more to him than that. Magnus felt a million times smaller as he heard the gentle reproach in her words.

"You can hardly blame him, I chose the Clave over him first…. God I’m so stupid.” Alec’s voice was broken, like it had been in the hallway that night and it tore Magnus apart. He wanted more than anything to comfort him, tell him that he loved him still, that he didn’t blame him…. He just needed time to figure this out.

“Oh Big Brother,” Izzy whispered, “you made a mistake over the Soul Sword but that’s hardly the same. You would never chose _anything_ over Magnus, and even though he’s mad right now, I’m sure he knows that, you can work this out.”

“Why? So I can just screw it up all over again….. You know, everyone always thought that it was coming out that held me back from him for so long, and it was that….but it was this too…. I knew one day I’d screw it up and lose everything…… I always knew I wasn’t good enough, I guess it’s better to have that proven sooner than later.”

Magnus felt tears prick at his eyes, how had not seen that Alexander felt that way. He’d confirmed everyone of Alec’s fears by walking away, placing the full burden of the break up on Alec’s shoulders… He should have known that Alec would blame himself like this…. Could he ever bring Alec back from that.

He heard Izzy gently soothing her brother, and his heart stilled at the new sound, Alec was crying…..he sounded utterly broken. A few deep breaths signalled that Magnus should probably leave but still he couldn’t move. He wanted to know that Alec was ok… But that was ludicrous, of course Alec wasn’t ok, neither of them were.

“Ready to face the world?” Izzy asked,

  “Why not?” Alec sighed, his heart clearly not in his day job. Magnus was too busy thinking to realise that they stood before him now.

“Um… Who are you? Do you need something?” Izzy asked, but Magnus barely heard her. He was locked onto the red rims of Alec’s eyes, the dark circles, like he hadn’t slept for days, his shoulders slumped down, his military demeanour gone.

This was not his Alexander. He had destroyed that beautiful man entirely.

 Magnus had never seen Alec like this, he doubted many ever had, even in his more vulnerable moments Alec always put on his Shadowhunter front, hiding behind it…. But in this moment he was utterly exposed to the world and all it’s harshness. Alec seemed to realise that as he straightened under, what to him, was a stranger’s observation.

“Look, you’re not really supposed to be back here,” he said gruffly, voice hoarse from emotion but yet still kind.

“I’m….. I was just……” Magnus stammered, it was his turn to be flustered now it seemed, “ Magnus Bane sent me…. There’s a spell books he needs and he left it here?”

Magnus hated the way Alec visibly flinched at the sound of his name. He watched how Alec swallowed hard and took a deep breath to compose himself before answering.

“I see,” Alec gestured that Magnus should follow him into the office. “Take what you need.”

Magnus picked up a few things, making sure to leave the more personal items for now to maintain his cover. He tried to catch Alec’s eye to see how he was taking this but Alec avoided his gaze.

“Well that’s everything…..I’ll be on my way.”

“Ok,” Alec said looking at him briefly, but without any recognition, “please could you tell Magnus…. Warlock Bane,” Alec corrected himself, they would have to be more formal now, “that the Institute is grateful for everything he did for it and that he is always welcome here…. Despite what recent events may have led him to believe.”

Magnus hoped the double meaning he heard in those words was intentional and not imagined.

“I’ll be sure to let him know….Mr. LIghtwood,” he said keeping up the pretence.

Alec turned back to his desk, no longer facing Magnus, a symbol that their business was concluded. Magnus lingered outside the door a moment longer than necessary, watching Alec’s facade fall once more.

Magnus had bared his soul to Alec, he’d felt safe to, knowing that there would be no judgement or reproach. Alec gave him that safety….. had Magnus not given Alec that in return? He had always tried to but here he was, only now truly seeing the real Alexander Lightwood for the first time.

Despite the pain he knew it would cause them both, he vowed that one day he would earn that right again in his true form. That together they would let down their walls and show their truest selves to each other at the same time. They would start again

**Author's Note:**

> Might continue this but got a few fics on the go at the moment and not sure where to go with this so not sure


End file.
